A Fallen Family

2 Samuel 15

Immanuel – 9/10/23

All of the sudden, almost out of nowhere, the spectacular rise of David abruptly fell into darkness. “The man after God’s own heart” had killed Uriah in an attempt to conceal his adultery with Bathsheba. It’s a stunning fall, a breathtaking darkness, a horrifying reflection of humanity.

Though David has repented and God has restored him, the sins of David have now unleashed a chaotic series of consequences: Consequences foretold by the prophet Nathan:

Thus says the LORD, “Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house.” -2 Samuel 12:11

Then in chapter 12, in the very next chapter, evil of the darkest order rises out of David’s own house – his own family.

Purpose

1. Set the context for chapter 15.

2. Unfold the drama of chapter 15.

3. Christ has begun a great reversal.

Amnon was David’s eldest son and heir apparent. If David’s lusts were dark, Amnon’s were darker, lusting after his half-sister Tamar. Amnon fakes a sickness, tricks David to tell Tamar to care for Amnon. And when alone, Amnon rapes Tamar. Thus David unwittingly helps Amnon. Tamar, a prominent figure in David’s court, later exposes to everyone what Amnon has done – to her own great shame.

Upon learning all this, 2 Sam 13:21 says that David was very angry. But stunningly, shamefully, David says nothing and does nothing. The consequence should have been death, but how can David slay his own son?

Absalom and Tamar are born from the same mother. Absalom loves his sister deeply and, seeing injustice from his father, a seed of bitterness is planted in his heart. So he tells his violated sister to wait, be calm; he will take justice into his own hands.

After two years of brooding and planning and playing nice with family, Absalom pulls off an elaborate scheme and murders Amnon in front of all the other brothers. Knowing the consequences of such a cold-blooded killing, Absalom immediately flees to the land of his mother, to Geshur.

In a moment, David has effectively lost two sons; one to death and one to exile. He grieves the loss of both. But Absalom has murdered Amnon in cold blood, an act that is itself punishable by death. David is the high judge of Israel; he cannot just bring Absalom back. The law says, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. Better for him to be far away than for David to have to send another of his sons to the grave. Thus David effectively rejects Absalom.

But has David forgotten that he himself is a murderer? That he has been forgiven and restored and loved by his Heavenly Father? Could not David have restored Absalom as Yahweh had restored him? After all, Absalom killed for justice; he murdered Amnon because Amnon was a rapist. There was no justice when David murdered Uriah. And Absalom would have known all of this.

Three years pass with Absalom in exile and Joab sees that David yearns for his son. But evidently, David is too stubborn or too proud to reconcile with Absalom and welcome him back into Jerusalem. Now it is Joab’s turn to engage in trickery. Through an elaborate ruse, Joab helps David see that because he loves Absalom, he should welcome Absalom back home, back to Jerusalem.

Three years was a long time for a son to feel the rejection of his father, and Absalom has not forgotten David’s injustices. Regardless, like so many sons seeking the approval of their fathers, Absalom returns to Jerusalem.

But for two years, while Absalom is living in Jerusalem, David ignores his son. He will not see him. How terrible it is for a son to be so rejected by his father. At one point, Absalom says to Joab,

Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me to be there still. Now therefore let me go into the presence of the king, and if there is guilt in me, let him put me to death. -2 Samuel 14:32

Only after crafty maneuvering from Absalom and Joab does David finally see his son. And upon seeing Absalom, to his great relief, David kisses him – a sign of pardon and restoration. After five long years, Absalom’s exile is over. It’s over, but it’s not forgotten: the pride, the rejection, the injustice.

Read vs 1

A Wayward Son

Absalom was a man of great arrogance. Remember, he’s in Jerusalem. Chariots were not made for city streets, but for the open field of battle. And 50 runners? Absalom literally paraded himself around the streets of Jerusalem, elevated and elite in his chariot, processing about with a small army. This was nothing but a brazen display of vanity.

Vanity was a problem for Absalom; for not only was he a wealthy prince, but he was also incredibly handsome.

Now in all Israel there was no one so much to be praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. -2 Samuel 14:25

It’s a dangerous combination when vanity mixes with ambition.

Read vs 2-6

Absalom was vain and ambitious, but he was not stupid. With the cold calculation we have seen in his father, Absalom knew exactly how to manipulate the hearts of the people.

Injustice marked David’s adultery, and pulling in Joab to murder Uriah was injustice spreading. When David did nothing after his daughter was raped, it was ugly injustice. There was injustice as David went years mercilessly giving Absalom the silent treatment.

What has happened to David? Where is the justice? David has repented, but something still seems rotten in his heart. He’s not actively dispensing injustices – like going out and committing evils – it just appears that he rules with ambivalence, indifference, detachment.

It appears that this indifference is felt throughout all Israel, for Absalom waylays people at the city gates, flourishing pomp and pretense, and preys upon people’s desire for justice. The incumbent represents the establishment, uninterested in the affairs of the common man. Absalom is full of promise, of a chance at real justice, and he’s so handsome.

How easily the hearts of the people are swayed. They forget who Yahweh has anointed.

Even so, is it David’s indifference that allows Absalom to manipulate the hearts of the people – for four years?

Read vs 7-12

When David grants his son’s request, in verse 9 he says, “Go in peace.” It’s the opposite of what Absalom is going to do.

Absalom’s resentment for his father has now fully matured. Having garnered the support he needs, he’s ready to unleash a devious conspiracy in Hebron: Hebron in Judah, the city where David was first crowned, the city where Absalom was born. It was the perfect location for Absalom to centralize his power.

He dupes 200 of Jerusalem’s elites into joining him in Hebron. Though they knew nothing of Absalom’s conspiracy; caught up in his web because their presence in Hebron implicates them. They join Absalom unknowingly, but Ahithophel enters Absalom’s conspiracy with eyes wide open.

This is a major blow to David: Ahithophel is one of David’s top advisors, one of the highest-ranking officials in his government. Surely, when he joined Absalom, many Israelites were persuaded to side with Absalom’s campaign. As verse 12 ends, the people with Absalom kept increasing.

Read vs 13-17

A Mourning Retreat

After receiving word of Absalom’s conspiracy, David sees that the heart of the people no longer belongs to him. His throne has been undermined by apparent years of ambivalent rule and a son that despises him. If David was caught in listless indifference, Absalom’s conspiracy has jolted him awake.

Now Absalom marches upon Jerusalem and David, shaken back to decisive shrewdness, flees. He knows his forces are outnumbered and outpaced. In verse 14 he cites two reasons for abandoning Jerusalem. Absalom will kill David and all those loyal to him. And to achieve this end, Absalom will destroy the city if he must.

Though David flees for his life, there is no frenzied retreat. Leaving ten concubines in his palace, David leads a prolonged regal procession, marked by a succession of critical encounters. With each encounter, David proves that he is alert, still a masterful tactician, and a profound man of faith. The meetings reveal, already, that Absalom has underestimated his father.

Read vs 18-23

There has been a group of foreigners that have been following David since Gath. Gittite means from Gath. Long before David became king, he fled from Saul and hid in the city of Gath of the Philistines. Remarkable that all this time a group of Philistines had allied themselves to David.

David’s first encounter, before he even leaves Jerusalem, is with Ittai. As we will learn in coming chapters, Ittai is a man of means and a mighty warrior. Apparently, he brought a sizable contingent of Gittites with him. But being a foreigner with no obligation to David, David offers him an honorable departure, saying, “Go back and take your brothers with you, and may the LORD show steadfast love [hesed] and faithfulness to you.”

It’s the first time David has mentioned Yahweh since the events of chapter 12, with 6-8 incredibly dark years in between.

Even though he arrived only the day before, even though David marches into uncertainty and danger, Ittai pledges himself entirely unto David. Hear again his words: “As the LORD lives, and as my lord the king lives, whether for death of for life, there also will your servant be.”

What an incredible pledge of loyalty! It’s reminiscent of words once spoken by Jonathan. And somehow, through this recently arrived Philistine, David’s faith appears jolted awake.

Then you get this profoundly mournful scene as David exits Jerusalem. He leaves through the eastern gate into the Kidron Valley, crossing the brook that’s there. Whether symbolic or literal, the image is that all the faithful of Israel look upon God’s anointed, humiliated and leaving the city, and they weep.

Then, just on the other side of the Kidron, David has his next meeting.

Read vs 24-29

Abiathar and Zadok, two priests, and a number of Levites meet David next. With them, the ark of the covenant: Israel’s most important symbol of God’s presence and favor. Such an object would symbolize David’s legitimacy, his anointing; that regardless of Absalom’s coup, David is king.

But can David presume that by possessing the ark Yahweh will be automatically on his side? Will he wield it like some mere token of superstition, attempting to manipulate God? David’s heart of faith is beating again.

Instead of trusting in a box of gold, David casts himself entirely upon the sovereign will of God. In the midst of uncertainty, he knows God’s way is best, and he is prepared to accept whatever that way is. If God chooses to favor David, then He will return him to Jerusalem’s throne. David has been rebuked by the Lord, now he wonders if he – like Saul – has been rejected.

When a heart gets beating again, it takes time to return to full strength. Here the pulse is yet faint. Though God’s covenant should galvanize his anointing and God’s favor upon him, now he wonders if God will restore his throne or not.

It’s one of the most pernicious effects of sin, causing you to question God’s love, wondering if you are truly His, doubting what He has promised.

But faith is growing again in David’s heart. If God is for him, if he will sit on Israel’s throne again, he must leave indifference behind for immediate action. With the ark, he sends the priests back. They will be his agents; the beginnings of an elaborate spy network.

Read vs 30-31

Retreating eastward from Jerusalem, surrounded by a procession of followers, David ascends the Mount of Olives. They are a walking display of grief; the king departs. And when the king departs, reality is under assault. David joins in the lament not because he pities himself, but because – with faith’s pulse quickening – he knows that he is the present embodiment of God’s royal reality. Has it really all come undone?

Learning that Ahithophel has joined Absalom is no help. It’s a significant blow. And for the first time in a long time, David prays: a simple prayer, an entirely practical prayer, a prayer through tears, a prayer of faith.

Read vs 32-37

There are more meetings as David leaves Jerusalem, but here is the last one we consider today: David’s friend, Hushai. He has been a powerful advisor with Ahithophel, now he shall become Ahithophel’s secret counterpart, a double-agent. Hushai is clearly a loyal friend, for he most certainly risks his life as he descends the Mount and enters Jerusalem.

David’s web of espionage is cast upon Jerusalem. Just in time. Absalom arrives not understanding who is the fly and who is the spider. He has underestimated his father.

They have all underestimated sin: sin that destroys, tears apart, sows bitterness, breeds chaos. The sins of a father, a man after God’s own heart, have multiplied in his children. Now the whole royal family is desperately fallen.

David flees to the wilderness beyond the Jordan, passing by Jericho on the way. Nathan’s prophecy couldn’t have been more accurate.

Thus says the LORD, “Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house.” -2 Samuel 12:11

Few things create deeper wounds than fallen families, and too many here carry the scars. Even today many of you grieve the family that could have been, or the one that once was. For some it feels like your family is in the process of falling, and for the life of you, you don’t know how to stop it.

How can irreparable damage be undone? How can scars so deep, heal? How can we broken people be, truly be, a family?

The answer starts in the wilderness beyond the Jordan River, where a great reversal began. He was planning to go to Jerusalem and retake its throne and reconcile his family. Through a series of meetings, Jesus taught about the fallenness of divorce. He took children in His arms and blessed them. He told a vain and rich man how to enter the kingdom of heaven. Then after crossing the Jordan, He told his disciples that if you want to rule, you must first be a servant. Passing by Jericho He healed the blind (Matthew 10).

When Jesus crested the Mount of Olives, He looked upon the city He loved, and He wept. He knew that within a generation the city, soon to reject Him, would burn. (It happened in about 40 years). David left to save himself and his city from being destroyed. Jesus entered it knowing that He, and eventually Jerusalem, would both be destroyed.

As David wept, so too did Jesus. But though Christ’s weeping was deep and genuine, there was a hope on the other side; a hope that was punctuated by the crowds gathered swarming the road. Jesus’ weeping was swept away by redounding joy as the people shouted,

“Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David! Hosanna in the highest!” -Mark 11:9-10

They were quoting Psalm 118, a psalm of David.

Blessed is He who comes in the name of the LORD! We bless you from the house of the LORD. The LORD is God, and He has made His light to shine upon us. Bind the festal sacrifice with cords, up to the horns of the altar! You are my God, and I will give thanks to you; you are my God; I will extol you. Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever! -Psalm 118:26-29

And with these shouts ringing from the Mount of Olives, Jesus enters Jerusalem to be destroyed. He the bound and festal sacrifice. With a face set like flint, on behalf of His broken people, to mend a family torn apart, He would die to overthrow the horrific power of sin.

Sin tears us from God, separates us from our Heavenly Father. But Christ absorbed that sin, and when He died, sin was killed. Then when He rose and ascended to the Father, He takes us with Him to the right hand of God, beloved, precious, children reconciled to our Father.

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. -1 John 3:1

We cannot repair the damage done by our sins, so Christ did it for us. We are forgiven and redeemed. Our scars are healed in His. And we broken people can be, truly be, a family.

Believe! By grace we are sons and daughters of God. In Christ we are brothers and sisters. This family, bound by our love for King Jesus, is more lasting than blood, more real than a shared last name.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7

Of course, we deeply love our biological families, and rightly so. But our love for them must fall into the right order. Our hearts, our minds, our souls, are to be wholly devoted unto God – the God who emptied heaven that we might have life, and have it abundantly. He is to be our first love.

Would David’s family have fallen so hard if is heart hadn’t drifted from God?

But the beautiful thing is, that when we love Him, and when we know His love for us, that same love begins to flow from us like rivers of living water. It has a reconciling effect; it brings healing in its flood. We are not perfected yet, and neither is our love. But even still, for those that have eyes to see it, our love is from the Father. It’s why Peter writes,

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. – 1 Peter 4:8

It’s sorrowful to see David’s fallen family. Parts of it would heal, other parts would not. Things would never be reconciled with Absalom, and Absalom was lost. That’s the sad and hard reality where sin has gripped a family. Sin always has consequences. It may not originate with the father, as it did with David, but every family is touched by sin’s effect.

Yet there is hope. Christ has begun a great reversal. All things are being made new. Reconciling love flows through the empty tomb of our king!