Church Discipline

Matthew 18:15-20

Immanuel – 11/10/24

          We are now three weeks into Jesus’ discourse on relationships. Again, this discourse is not primarily concerned with relationships in general, but relationships within the community of disciples. Another way to think about that: Jesus is teaching us how relationships within the church are supposed to function, how they are supposed to work, how we are to relate to one another.

          Hopefully this isn’t a surprise to you, but the true church is filled with Christians. As followers of Christ, we are called to be Christ-like: loving as He is loving, compassionate, joyful, gentle, faithful, eager to serve one another. How amazing is a church that embodies these Christ-like attributes! Such a church would be a true taste of the kingdom of heaven.

          And though we truly desire to be like Jesus, there is still much work that needs to be done in these hearts of ours. The gospel tells us that Christ bought righteousness for us – a gift of grace given to us by Father, Son, and Spirit – but how we struggle to fully receive this gift. For still residing within us, fighting against the grace of God, is sin: the indwelling saboteur of abundant life in Christ.

          Sin is offensive to God and separates us from Him. But He continues to have grace, and treats us gently, and faithfully reconciles us to Himself again and again and again, moment by moment. He calls us to the same.

          Just as sin creates a separation between us and God, so also does it create separation within the church. That’s because we also see sin as offensive. Pride and selfishness are the two most fundamental sins hardwired into humanity, and when they spill out of us it is gross.

A self-obsessed person, who only talks about themself, is unbearable. Same with the easily angered, one-uppers, the chronically passive-aggressive, incessant complainers, those that are all mouth and no ears, the sharp-tongued. You all know that this list could go on and on. These ugly behaviors are merely the overflow of pride and selfishness within the heart; and they are excellent at driving wedges, causing divisions within the church.

          Purpose

          Understanding that His disciples would continue to struggle with sin, Jesus graciously taught us how to deal with one another’s offenses. Today we learn from our King a helpful practice, aimed not at judging each other’s sins, but aimed instead at repentance, reconciliation, and restoration.

          Next week we will hear Jesus teach about forgiveness. This week we learn how disciples are meant to help each other with sins that threaten to divide. To do this, Jesus gives His disciples three stages of confronting sin. We find the first stage in verse 15.

          Read vs 15

          Brother is being used synonymously with fellow disciple, another Christian, male or female.

If your brother sins against you. There is debate among scholars if Jesus actually said those two words, against you. There are discrepancies in the earliest manuscripts, some leaving out those words and some leaving them in. I just read from the English Standard Version, listen to how the New International Version translates this verse.

          “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”              -Matthew 18:15 (NIV)

          Against you is left out of the NIV’s translation. Can you see the effect it has? It changes the dynamic from a personal wrong committed against you to a wrong committed in general.

          Confronting Sin

          But I think that regardless of whether or not Jesus said those two words – against you – the same principles apply. If someone is sinning, and that sin has personally offended you, or you recognize that their sinning is disgracing God, then Jesus tells us to go to that fellow disciple. Sin is not to be tolerated in the church.

          Brothers and sisters, do you hear the confrontational nature of Jesus’ command? So many of us want to be liked; so many are people pleasers. Though those qualities can be appropriate, it is inappropriate to slip into conflict avoidance. Conflict avoidance stems from a fear of man, where we don’t want anyone to think negatively of us, or we don’t want to get into a whole big mess by calling out a sinful issue. But I want you to hear, this goes against the word of Christ. And what do we call something that contradicts the words of Jesus? Sin.

          So ask yourself, what is the greater priority: being a people pleaser, or living to please Jesus?

          Let me take a moment to show you, biblically, why avoiding conflict leads to sin. The second greatest command in the Bible is love your neighbor as yourself. Do you know the context in which that command was given? Confrontation.

“You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.”                                                                  -Leviticus 19:17-18

          Confronting a brother or sister in Christ over an offense or a sin – or reasoning frankly with your neighbor – is part of how we love one another.

Wouldn’t it be unloving to let the sin go unchecked, for that person to continue to hurt others and disgrace God? They might have no idea that they are doing something wrong. That brother or sister needs help. And if you see it, if you have felt its effects, then the person commanded to help them, to love them by confronting them, is you!

And confronting the issue is better for yourself, too. Leviticus tells us that if you do not confront the issue. You may incur sin. Here’s how this works- the offense festers, grudges are born, contempt grows. Yes, grudges quickly morph into contempt.

Contempt is when you begin to think someone deserves your scorn, they are beneath you, they are worth disregarding. When you have contempt for someone, the following behaviors will most certainly follow: you become passive-aggressive, you are sharp with your words, you coldly avoid them, you try to get others to think poorly of them.

All of those behaviors are how we might try to take vengeance on the one who has committed an offense, and they flow from a heart brimming with contempt. Contempt is probably one of the ugliest of human emotions, for it very quickly evolves into hatred.

The Apostle John, sitting there for Jesus’ teaching, had a few things to say about hatred.

Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.

                                                                   -1 John 2:9

Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.                                               -1 John 3:15

          Murder is born from hatred, hatred from contempt, contempt from a grudge, a grudge from an offense, an offense that was never resolved. Letting offenses go unresolved is not how we love one another. Their sin may lead to your sin. Avoiding conflict leads to sin.

          This is precisely why Jesus said, “Go and tell him his fault” – or her. Don’t be passive. Don’t sweep it under the rug. Don’t leave it to someone else to confront. You, go and confront the sin, confront the offense.

          Jesus adds how such a confrontation should take place: “between you and him alone.” In other words, don’t make a big show of it, keep the confrontation private. This is about repentance, reconciliation, and restoration; not shaming.

          (Parenthesis)

          We must take this teaching together with Jesus’ teaching on judgment.

          “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”                    -Matthew 7:1-5

          When confronting someone, ask yourself, are you being hypocritical? They may have offended you with a sharp word, but do your sharp words get you into trouble? You may have caught them in a lie, but do you hide what you do in the shadows?

          You don’t have to be perfect, but make sure your heart is in the right place before you go and confront someone. Also, make sure that you are not confronting a person over a matter of preference or tradition. Confrontation needs to be over matters of sin and personal offense.

          He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

                                                                                      -Titus 1:9

          Though this command is directed at Elders in the church, it applies to every disciple of Christ. Confrontation, correction, and rebuke needs to rooted in Scripture. Is it clearly a sin? Did the person contradict the commands of Christ when they committed the offense? Is there something in Scripture that clearly shows what the person has done is wrong?

          Ask these kinds of questions before confronting someone. Am I being hypocritical? Am I upset because I don’t like to see a tradition broken? Is this just a matter of my preferences? Did this person really do something Scripturally wrong?

          Jesus is not teaching us to nitpick and fault find. We should think carefully about confrontation before it happens, and we should cover the whole situation in prayer.

          (Close Parenthesis)

          If the person you confront is sensitive to the things of God, if they desire to be more Christlike, they will listen. Even if they are surprised, even if they thought they did no wrong, still they will listen carefully.

          A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.                                                                                      -Proverbs 17:10

          A wise disciple will listen carefully to understand what wrong they have committed. It might be painful, but they recognize that they have blind spots, and will happily receive correction, will happily make amends to correct the wrong that has been committed. A wise disciple accepts the rebuke and looks to change (repent).

          And you have gained your brother, as Jesus says in verse 15.

          Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue.                                                                              -Proverbs 28:23

          But a fool does not listen to rebuke and they recoil at the thought of their sins being confronted. They are hard pressed to receive correction, even by a hundred blows.

A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.                                                                                      -Proverbs 17:10

          So if a brother or sister does not receive the rebuke and move towards repentance, reconciliation, and restoration; then Jesus shows us what to do next (and it is not to deliver a hundred blows).

          Read vs 16

          We have moved from an individual confronting to a small group doing the confronting. The knowledge of the sin is being kept within the group. It is not being spread about. Privacy is still important. Again, shame is not the goal; but repentance, reconciliation, and restoration.

          Jesus is quoting from the Law.

A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses shall a charge be established.        -Deuteronomy 19:15

          This law is for the courtroom, but a principle applies to the church – and there are two sides to it.

First, these two or three others join in correcting the sinning brother. They join in the appeal to repent. If the offending party doesn’t listen to the original correction, and then doesn’t listen to the correction of the small group, then two or three others can back up the charges. They can testify to the church leadership that this person refuses to repent and they willingly continue in sin, or they can testify that the person has committed to repentance.

The other side of the coin is that the charges brought must be valid. The two or three others will hear what has offended you, or what sin you have observed, and if they agree that you are not confronting for the right reasons, then the person you confront does not need to heed your rebuke.

So this is another question to ask yourself when confronting someone in the first stage, as an individual: would two or three others in this church agree that a wrong has been committed? If not, drop it. Move past it.

          But if indeed it is a valid charge, and two or three others agree that a wrong has been committed, and together you have confronted the person, and still that person refuses to repent, then the confrontation goes up to a final level.

          Read vs 17

          We have come to the last resort. The offending party has rejected the correction of the individual, that have scorned the rebuke of the small group, now it is time for the whole church to be involved. We have entered into formal church discipline. To address the whole of the church, the leaders of the church (the Elders) need to be involved at this point, and they are the ones to bring the issue before the church.

And on that note, let me read an excerpt from our church constitution.

          Although God disciplines His children for personal sin (1 Corinthians 11:27-30; Hebrews 12:4-11), He commands the church to discipline believers who commit public sin and/or sin which affects the church, the Body of Christ. This includes unresolved personal conflict (Matthew 18:15-20), divisiveness (Romans 16:17-18; Titus 3:10), false teaching (1 Timothy 1:20; Titus 1:10-16; 2 John 9-11), lifestyle contrary to Scripture (Galatians 2:11-21; Ephesians 5:11; 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15; 2 Timothy 3:2-5), sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 5:1-13), and nonattendance (Hebrews 10:25).                       

- Letter A under Article IV (Church Discipline)

          As I have said, the goal is never shame; but every time the issue reaches the next level – from individual, to small group, to local church body – an increasing measure of shame will naturally accompany the confrontation. One of the effects of exposing sin will always be shame. The more your sin is brought into the light, the more shame you will feel. Shame is not the goal, it is a natural consequence.

          If the person who committed the offense responds to that shame in humility and repents, letting the whole church see that they are actively working towards reconciliation, then the church is to lovingly restore them to full fellowship and friendship.

But if instead they respond to shame with pride, and dig their heels in and get upset about their sins being exposed, and reject the church’s attempt at correcting them, then Jesus says to think of them like a Gentile or tax collector. In other words, they are unbelievers. Unbelievers do not repent, and the unrepentance of this person is the same unrepentance of the unbelieving world. They are no longer a part of the church, and they are no longer welcome to partake in the Lord’s Supper. They are excommunicated.

          Read vs 18

          It might sound like Jesus said something completely random. But remember two chapters ago when Jesus used the same phrase.

          “I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”                                                       -Matthew 16:18-19

          I am not going to dive too deep into expositing verse 18, because I spent extensive time on it when we were in chapter 16. If you would like, go to ibcfamily.com and watch the sermon from September 22.

Without getting too deep, I will say this: Christ has given His church the authority to make judgments on things that are Christlike and not Christlike. And observing these behaviors, the Church has the authority to bring people in for their Christlikeness, or cast them out for their godlessness.

          Jesus gives the church great authority, giving His disciples the collective power to gatekeep the local church. It is our duty, every one of us, to never get comfortable with sin in our midst. We are to expose it. And if after having taken the steps Jesus has laid out for us, we are to expel it. A person unwilling to repent, desiring to continue in their sins, has no place among the holy people of God.

          “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.”                                        -Matthew 16:19 (Legacy Standard Bible)

          Read vs 19-20

          The Father loves to answer the prayers of His disciples! We have already heard Jesus make sweeping promises about answering prayers. But every time He does, there is an added qualification. Ask while trusting in the Father’s goodness (7:7-11), ask in faith (17:20), and now we are to ask in agreement with one another. Because if we are in agreement over what to pray for, then the prayer is probably not serving the self-interests of the individual. There’s safety in numbers.

          I don’t know if you caught it, but we have moved from when there is sin and disagreement and potential division in the church, to unity and agreement in prayer. This is far sweeter when you remember the context in which Jesus says these words. Two or three gathered to pray for the reconciliation and restoration of a repentant believer; or two or three gathered to pray that the one they have just cast from the church would repent and return.

This is a beautiful picture of how we can love one another! How much better if our conflicts and struggles were bathed in holy prayer like this!

          But the two or three are not gathered just with themselves. Jesus promises that He will be with them too. Two or three and the King of the universe. Does not Immanuel mean “God with us”? He wants to be with us, and so He will! Jesus loves to be with His people! The living Son of God, our King of kings, is with us right now in this room. How He is filled with joy when His people gather to worship Him, to seek His will, to pray to Him! He is present, and His heart is flowing with love.

          Brothers and sisters, as disciples of Jesus Christ, let our hearts also flow with love for one another. Let us work towards unity and peace and hope and faithfulness in our midst. We can do that by joining together and praying for one another. We can do that by confronting sin and offenses when we see them. Together we protect and nourish the Bride of Christ, this blessed and holy and stumbling community of disciples.